6/04/2005 12:24:00 AM|||Andy|||Alright this absolutely must cease. When did wearing a pink shirt become a crime? These days I feel I live a life of utter solitude due to pink-shirt-hating, but I just won't stand for it anymore. I'm slipping my binds, bending the prison cells society placed around me, creeping down the hallway ever-so-delicately but accidentally stepping on the twig that no one notices breaking, and sticking the gaurd to my closet with the shiv I manufactured using my Alvin and the Chipmunks lunchbox I still have (just kidding*). Not all people wearing pink shirts are the same. Some of us have a brain, some of us are talented, and some of us DON'T flip the collar up like some cross-eyed goat-masturbator.*
For all of you pink shirt haters out there, I'd like to offer that not everyone of us pink-shirt wearers are complete asses. That being said, a good majority of PSW's ARE asses. If you answer yes to the following questions, you are a PSW who is an ass:
Am I in a Fraternity?
Okay that's the only question I could come up with, sorry fellas. Jerka Delta Turd just recruited you - and you are in for the social paddling of a lifetime. Stick to your own frat parties and mixers to avoid wearing letters of shame and degradation by girls everywhere.
So, partly to prove how awesome I rock in a pink shirt and partly to please ladies everywhere, here is a photo taken with my phone of me being just a regular guy who happens to be wearing a socially frowned-upon color. Please excuse the beard, I'm audtioning to be a lumberjack*.
*it has been scientifically proven that flipping your collar up, ESPECIALLY if you refer to it as "poppin' your collar" typically indicates a penchant for masturbating goats...I ad-libbed the cross-eyed part.
*Lumberjack auditions are held annually and include a rigorous week-long camp of beard-growing, flannel-wearing, log-rolling, and break-dancing in flannel.|||111786158264164500|||Defender of Pink Shirts