10/15/2005 12:01:00 PM|||Andy|||
Today is the day that Penn State beats Michigan. That is what I thought to myself when I awoke from my drunken slumber. I was talking with the brewer online and he relayed to me that Corso and Herbstreit both picked Michigan to win this game. The reasoning was as follows...

Corso: Michigan is ranked 32 in the nation with 10 votes in the coaches poll, PSU is number 8 with 942 votes in the coaches poll but are still underdogs...so somebody knows something i don't, and i am going with the somebodys.

Herbstreit: PSU is pumped and ready to go, but Michigan is desperate and I am going with the desperate team.

Alright, first of all, Corso again proves his superior reign as king of the idiots...actually wait. That would be like being the smartest kid with down syndrome, no, Corso is the trash-eating Hobo in idiotville. All the other idiots make fun of him. "Look at the idiot!" they scream!

"Somebody knows something, and I'm going with the somebodies" ?!? What the FUCK does that even mean? Corso, somebody knows there are ghosts and aliens. Somebody knows they are God walking around in human form. Somebody knows they can travel through time. The problem is all these somebodies wear tinfoil hats, push around shopping carts full of shoes and cans, and scream profusely at the voices in their head. Congratulations on proving you're the biggest fool of the century, YET again. I'd make an allusion here to your amazing ability to woo and screw pigs, but it'd be inappropriate.

Herbstreit, let me explain something to you. Desperate means nothing. Desperate means they need to win so badly, they will get in their own way time and again and fail because they are trying too hard to succeed. If you were in a bar and you saw a girl going around, trying to do it with every dude there, you'd know she was desperate. You wouldn't want to touch her. It'd be gross. Who knows how many diseases she has or illegitimate children she's fostered. No one wants that girl. You don't try to date that girl. You go after that hot chick who only talks to people that have the balls to go up to her and buy her a drink and ask where she's from. Ann Arbor is that diseased whore. They're going to try anything and its not gonna work. The competition from the hot chick, the hot chick who knows she's hot and doesn't have to do anything but show up to succeed, is just too much. Penn State is the hot chick on the dance floor.

I seriously hope, Corso and Herbstreit, that you realize the awesome power of Penn State. We are not arrogant, we are confident. We will win today, and win big. Then Joe Paterno will come to your houses and simply burn them down. Because that's what you got for associating with crazy homeless people and whores.

On a side note: I'd like to add that I know more people at PSU who went to the Michigan game this weekend, than went home for fall break.
|||112939332327012708|||Goin' with the Somebodies