10/23/2005 04:50:00 PM|||Andy|||
I've never liked Nickelback. I remember when their first hit single came out. I thought to myself "here's some stupid shit that should not be on a record." I mean I was really disgusted. The lyrics were lousy, the song was pretty boring, and the singer just can't fuckin' sing.

Then a bit later I found this mp3 on a website:

Nickelback Sucking

Go there and check it out.

Alright so there's proof they "write" their songs by listening to their other songs, and then copying them exactly. Wow.

So recently on the radio has been yet ANOTHER Nickelback song called Photograph. In this song the lead singer is recalling memories that a high-school girl would have and then whining about it like a jr. high school girl. Maybe he just got his first period or something. Anyway, I feel the need to show you these lyrics and how stupid they are (with my interjections in parenthesis):

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head
(Why do you laugh? Cause your pothead friend has red eyes? Because your friend Joey has some poop on his head? This doesn't make any fucking sense!)

And this is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we'd ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneaking out
(Okay so you're at your old house and you were poor. And someone wanted to make it look nice so they put another floor and now you can't sneak out anymore? What? I think you SHOULD try to sneak out the second floor - do us all a favor)

And this is where I went to school
Most of the time had better things to do
Criminal record says I broke in twice
I must have done it half a dozen times
(Wait wait, I don't get it. So you didn't go to school...but then you went to school and broke in later? Uh...You are a supreme idiot. What were your better things to do? It certainly didn't have anything to do with songwriting or playing an instrument. Oh wait, I bet it was drawing plans for breaking into school later in the day in crayon.)

I wonder if It's too late
Should i go back and try to graduate
Life's better now then it was back then
If I was them I wouldn't let me in
(You'd have to TRY to graduate high school? Aren't you like 27? Your life can't possibly be better, you're in fucking Nickelback. I know more people that still like New Kids. And I would let you in, but only to do your job as night janitor.)

Oh oh oh
Oh god I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
(You have memories of looking out the back door...okay. What was out there? Inspiration for pussy ballads? Why are you throwing away a photo album? Is it also full of your CD's? Cause that'd be reason enough for me.)

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
(What is with you and looking and going out of your house doors? You stayed in a lot didn't you...writing pussy ballads and wearing pretty makeup and skirts? I'm glad you finally found the photo you were looking for, now maybe you'll shut the hell up about it.)

(Guess I was wrong.)
Remember the old arcade
Blew every dollar that we ever made
The cops hated us hangin' out
They say somebody went and burned it down
(Yeah, I bet the cops were furious and enraged at you spending money at a local business. They probably hated you hanging out cause you were constantly singing your crappy songs. And by the way, I burned down the arcade, in hopes you would still be in it.)

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday we'd find out how if feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel
(Well you reached that goal. The 6 people who actually enjoy your music appreciate all your hard vocal practices in the car...they also have to wear helmets to go outside and ride the little bus)

Kim's the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She's had a couple of kids since then
I haven't seen her since god knows when
(You nearly missed? Man you really are a pussy. I've seen her, she said you're gay.)

Oh oh oh
Oh god I

I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it
(Oh you were going along so good! Here let me help - I won't deface it, I won't de-lace it, I will not trace it, I couldn't mace it, Look! I had braces, oh I could go on all day.)

So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it
(That doesn't make any sense. At any rate, I'm sure popular opinion is for you to leave)

If I could I relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change
(Uh...what? What is it? Oh I get it, you don't actually know. Or you're just trying to put some mystery into the song other than - why the FUCK is this on the radio?)

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me
(It makes you what? Again with an unfinished sentence. What I have the perfect line for right here - Oh god, oh oh, oh god I)

I mean come on! This song is so lyrically stupid that I don't even have to bother thrashing it musically. If you're a Nickelback fan, you're an idiot. If you're in Nickelback, congratulations on tricking the record labels and good luck with that GED...You'll need it to start working at Shoney's.
|||113010211113049254|||Nickelback: We look like tough guys, but we're really whiny, stupid, little girls.10/10/2006 11:48:00 PM|||Anonymous Christine|||Ok, at this point I'm really hoping you get paid for your comments about the entertainment world because you have way too many convictions about this song if you don't. If you do then good job, you made me laugh and I'm one of the six people that kinda like the song.