9/07/2006 01:35:00 PM|||Andy|||
MySpace bulletins are typically the stupidest things you'll ever read, and then if you don't repost them after reading them, you supposedly suffer a horrible calamity. Here is one that was posted today:

Blue eyes-
-People with blue eyes last the longest in relationships. They are kind, pretty or handsome & very good kissers.they always fall in love with there closest friends and never understand why, they are very funny and outgoing and don't care what people think or say,They are very satisfying and love to please.They can EXCEED your pleasure standards.People with blue eyes are very sexy and very attracted towards the opposite sex. The best of all. If you repost this and you have blue eyes you will have the best kiss sometime in the next 5 days.


-Green Eyes-

-Sex Addicts!!!People with green eyes have the most passion put into relationships, they have long lasting relationships. People with green eyes are also the horniest and most beautiful. They long for the touch of another. People with green eyes are very sexy and very attracted towards the opposite sex. They help others in need. They are the most atrractive eyes of them all. They get envied alot but it doesnt bother them. You will meet the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with if you repost this.

-Hazel Eyes-

-People with hazel eyes are very loveable. They are really hott and awsome to be around. Their relationship tends to be very honest cause if they aren't truly in love, the relationship won't work. They are very fun to be around but don't enjoy "pet names". They fall easily for their best friends. Can make anyone laugh no matter what they're mood! They don't care what people think or say about them! They are very satisfying and love to please. They would give anything to be with their special someone! They are very laid back and chill and love to just be around. If you repost this and have hazel eyes then you will be happy soon with the person who is on your heart.

-Brown eyes-
-STRAIGHT UP PIMPS!!!!!Sexy as hell,people with brown eyes are very attractive, adorable, love to make new friends. Will do anything for that special person. Kind and polite Can make anyone laugh or cheer them up. Loves to please the one they care for or love,very good kissers, are straight up WARRIORS, repost this if you have brown eyes, and you will find the one that you are meant to be with within the next 7 days

I thought it would be really funny if only one or two of the eye-categories was complimentary and the other eye colors got totally slammed. If I were to write a similar bulletin, it would probably look something like this:

Blue eyes-
-People with blue eyes last the longest in relationships and sexual intercourse. They are kind, pretty or handsome & very good kissers. They are very talented at writing hilarious blogs that makes everyone like them. They are very funny (or at least they think so) and outgoing and don't care what people think or say, but people care what they think and say because they're just so darn awesome. They are very satisfying and love to please. They can EXCEED your pleasure standards. People with blue eyes are very sexy and very attracted towards the opposite sex. If you repost this and you have blue eyes you will have the best kiss sometime in the next 5 days followed by winning a free trip to Greece and, what the heck? Winning the lottery.


-Green Eyes-

-People with green eyes are at the highest risk to suffer from bear attacks, shark attacks, poor hearing, and bee stings. Though typically amiable people, they have been subjected to government tests as children due to the right-wings hatred of all things green. Often times green eyed people enjoy life, though its typically short due to the clauses outlined in the first sentence. If you have green eyes and repost this, you will be fending off 6 bee stings in the upcoming year.


-Hazel Eyes-

-People with hazel eyes are typically assholes. They frighten small children with their cacophonous bodily noises and eat only low-carb diets. Their typical occupations include: jungle cat trainer, ferris wheel operator, and convicted felon. They also smell terrible. If you repost this and have hazel eyes then you will be hit by a bus. But if you DON'T re-post it, you'll be hit by two buses.

-Brown eyes-

-Dumbest. People. Ever. I knew this kid with brown eyes once who tried to eat a live chicken. It was outrageous. The thing pecked off his lips. People with brown eyes are regarded as slack-jawed dimwits who WISH they knew how to read because they like the glossy finish of library cards. Brown-eyed people that can read typically have no sense of direction and are tricked easily. Repost this if you have brown eyes and we'll send you a free library card! NOT! Tricked again, jerk!



|||115765146066040104|||MySpace you are indeed a sage!9/07/2006 06:05:00 PM|||Blogger SuperBee|||You're a jerk.

People with Blue Eyes are Jerks.

I'm not dumb! I...need a Library card, though...9/08/2006 12:35:00 AM|||Blogger Ally|||The latest stupid bulletin I've received said the poster would eliminate the reader as one of his friends if we didn't repost the bulletin within 24 hours (the point of the bulletin was to see who his "real friends are"). My thought was "Go right ahead; I'll gladly have one less idiot bulletin posting friend."9/08/2006 01:05:00 AM|||Anonymous UH2L|||Nice blog. I found it because my blog is called "Things I've Noticed" (www.thingsivenoticed.com)and a Google search led to mine and also listed yours as a search result.

Despite the fact that you slam brown-eyed people, I'm commnenting because I think I'm funny too. Your description for brown-eyed people should say we are down-to-earth because nobody inflates our ego by telling us our eyes are so beautiful. They're just plain.9/08/2006 01:11:00 AM|||Blogger Meregarita|||Government testing has nothing to do with my stupidity--Ha!9/08/2006 08:28:00 AM|||Blogger Ashburnite|||Your version is totally true. Although, I may just be saying that because I have blue eyes.....9/08/2006 12:31:00 PM|||Blogger Andy|||Jay - Take that!

Ally - I know the feeling. My friend's brother added me and I knew immediately he would be one of those people who posted idiotic bulletins all the time. I'd defriend him but I guess I'm too nice.

uh2l - I know the exact post google came up with. Not one of my better ones. Have fun trying to eat a live chicken.

Mere - standardized testing then maybe?

Ash - Yeah it's good to be on top.9/08/2006 03:46:00 PM|||Blogger Ashburnite|||hehe...on top of what, exactly? ;-)